The Wild Wild East: April 2007

Saturday, April 28, 2007

No Place Like Home For The Holidays - Except I'm Not There

If someone told you that a national holiday was coming up and you were getting time off from work, you'd be happy, right? With the exception of my workaholic readers, I'm guessing most of you would agree. It is lovely to have some time off for relaxation or travel. But what if they still made you work? This interesting phenomenon is what I like to call a "Chinese holiday." Instead of just giving you the day off for the national holiday (like giving you one day off for President's Day, Boxing Day or Bastille Day [for my non-existent French audience]), they make you work on days you normally wouldn't work so that they can "reallocate" your days off.

What exactly comprises this reallocation? you may be wondering. Well I'm glad you asked, because I was going to tell you anyway. Basically, instead of working my normal five-day work week, getting the Labor Day holiday on Tuesday and Wednesday free, and then working the rest of the week as usual, I have to work through the weekend including Monday. And if you worked out your dates correctly, you would have figured out that I am currently composing this post at work. On a Saturday. And I'm not even at Berlitz (which, by the way, I still had to teach for this morning).

So, in advance, I apologize if I'm a bit grumpy. But today and tomorrow are going to be 7:00AM-6:00PM workdays on a weekend that I was really hoping to have off, especially coming as it is after a long week of working and biking (see post "On A Collision Course?" below). Eight days a week - my professional life is the reincarnation of a Beatles song that I believe subconciously promotes slave-driving (though, admittedly, the Beatles song is talking about 'loving' eight days a week and I'm talking about staring at a computer screen for nine hours at a clip).

But to be fair - in return - we get Tuesday, May 1st through Monday, May 7th off - returning on the 8th. Rest assured that every night next week, I will be out until dawn and sleeping until dinner. May I also say that I am thoroughly excited for the arrival of some long-lost friends who will be making their way to Beijing: the ever-feisty Drea (who is currently living and studying in Lhasa) and Amy (my favorite real estate mogul/coffee-fetcher) who is based out of Hong Kong. If I make it through the looooong weekend, we're looking forward to some good times!

posted by Rachel @ 1:38 PM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

On A Collision Course?

My latest and greatest China experience is far beyond any expectations I could have held. I've heard about it and even talked about it (without having tried it for myself) on many occasions, and despite my fear, I was excited at the prospect of giving it a shot.

The name? Biking. The game? Beijing's rush hour traffic. The player? Yours truly.

About a week and a half ago, I finally broke down and bought a bike. But not just any bike. A FOLDING bike. This extremely portable form of transportation is in high stock here in China, as such a large population bikes just to get around. Knowing that I would now be commuting to work (since I work in Haidian, but chose to live in Dongzhimen, downtown) I figured having a bike would speed up the process. And it did. Little did I know, my commute would be manually powered.

That's right. I bike to and from work every day. I can cross town in forty-five minutes if I'm on my game. I've tried it all: bus, cab, combination of the two. Biking the whole way is still fastest. My mornings and evenings have turned into one giant game of Frogger, as the fastest, smoothest routes with the fewest intersections involve weaving through Beijing's busiest roads, around buses, cars, motorcycles, and most dangerous of them all: other bicyclists.

You would think that I would be most afraid of the biggest beasts on the road, the buses - or at least the agile, darting cars - but it is actually other bicyclists who are the most dangerous. Firstly, due to rush hour traffic, at most points I'm actually biking faster than the cars are moving. Second, the car drivers tend to be hypervigilant of bicyclists since they're everywhere and often pop out as if from nowhere on any given road. And they know that if they hit a bicyclist, they're in for MAJOR trouble. As such, they usually (somewhat unwillingly) yield if you're in their path.

But other bicyclists? They tend to act carelessly. They will cut you off or slip in between you and another bike with barely a centimeter to spare. Different bicyclists go different speeds (unlike cars, which generally keep a fairly uniform pace) and so bicycles attempting to pass often get tangled up and frustrated in packs of slower-moving bicycles. This leads to a sort of "bicycle rage" that can cause terrible bike accidents. Lest we forget that bike lanes are generally connected to the road, bike accidents can also lead to terrible car accidents.

I don't mean to frighten, and I have not even been near any close calls as yet (other than the occasional getting cut off by some know-it-all bicyclist who has decided waiting is below him - and it usually is a him, as Chinese female bicyclists tend to be overly cautious and slow). The main benefit of bicycling is really getting to see the city - biking through the hutongs, the side streets, trying different routes, finding places I want to revisit - all part of the experience. There are health benefits - the benefit of minimum 90 minutes of cycling exercise being one of them. Though the downsides include the sensation of having "The Black Lung" upon arriving at work and making it back home. A thorough shower is usually required to remove the layer of grime from the road. Chinese emissions standards may be "improving," but with so many cars in so little space (and especially now that the weather is warming up), you can't help but feel gross.

Despite the drawbacks and the dangerous nature of bicycle travel in Beijing, I have to come out with an overall positive review. Three-and-a-half out of four stars. I like the view of Beijing from the road.

As Rascal Flatts says, life is a highway. I'm gonna ride it. All night long. Or at least until I get where I'm going.

posted by Rachel @ 12:55 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A Little Interior Decorating

In case you didn't notice (and if you didn't, you should probably have your eyes or your memory checked!), I've done a little site renovating. I thought it was about time. I don't much like pink and I thought it couldn't hurt to expand my horizons.

The boat pictured at the header of the page is called a "sampan." A sampan is a type of flat-bottomed Chinese wooden boat anywhere from twelve to fifteen feet long. They can often be found along coastal waters or mild rivers, but rarely stray far from land as they lack the sturdiness required for rough waters. Sampan literally means "three planks" in Cantonese, a combination of the words "sam," meaning three and "pan," meaning plank.

I hope you like the blog's new look - I'll keep writing if you'll keep reading!

posted by Rachel @ 5:32 PM

Lethal Weapon 12: This Time It's For Real

How many of those things were there again? Five? Six? Not the point.

Today, a story emerged claiming what many scientists have believed for quite some time now - that there is a flaw in the lethal injection method employed when carrying out a death penalty sentence. After reading the article, I hearkened back to about a year or so ago when I heard a similar story while working for Chief Judge Joseph H.H. Kaplan (now retired) at the Circuit Court for Baltimore City in Maryland. It was a Friday and we had a convict whose execution was scheduled for midnight, Monday. Talk about procrastination...

The judge declined the appeal, although to be fair, the attorneys had already sung the same song for the State Supreme Court and they weren't having any of it either. And though their motivations may have been more selfish than humanitarian, they did bring up some interesting points. Up until that day, I had little knowledge of the process of lethal injection. I just thought they stuck a needle in someone and that was it. It turns out it's a bit more involved that that. There are actually THREE drugs involved (at least in most states) each of which, individually, can kill. Though I guess they're hoping that if they give you three, they'll get at least one. I'd take that bet.

There's Thiopental, an anesthetic; Pancuronium Bromide, which blocks nerves and paralyzes the muscle; and Potassium Chloride, a drug used to stop the heart. However, the drugs are not pain-free. Sedation is supposed to prevent the sensation of pain from these drugs, but there have been reports of sedation wearing off or being ineffective. Apparently, state governments have chosen to take the "one-size-fits-all" approach, not so good when the inmates have been pumping iron in the yard or, for that matter, are just plain heavy.

Why doesn't a doctor just monitor the injections - instead of the State - to ensure that everything goes properly? Well, I'm glad you asked. Technically, it's unethical. It's that whole Hippocratic "do no harm" thing. Geez, these doctors and their oaths. Taking everything so LITERALLY. One time, a federal judge in California tried to order that doctors assist in a lethal injection. The doctors said no, and the case is still ongoing.

Which brings us back to why the lawyers brought up this last-minute case in hopes of stalling the process. With the right judge, sometimes it DOES work. Somehow, it seems bittersweet getting out on a technicality. But I guess beggars can't be choosers, eh?

posted by Rachel @ 5:07 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

The Rump Stump...

...is the winner of my, "What Should This Fantastically Awesome Chair Be Called?" Contest. Sure, I was the only contestant. But I take my victories VERY seriously.

Other possible names included (but were not limited to):

The Colossal Caboose

The Porcelain 屁股 (which will only be understood by my Chinese-speaking friends)

The Butt Rut

The Crack Stack (but I thought that sounded a little too druggy)

The Squat Spot

For those who are curious, these stools are part of a practical sculpture art display in a park located in Chong Qing (重庆), China. Once I finally get a more permanent living arrangement, I am definitely investing in a set!

posted by Rachel @ 10:17 AM

Friday, April 13, 2007

X Marks the Spot

I was reading a Times article (so you know it HAS to be true) called, "Pas de Deux of Sexuality Is Written in the Genes" - discussing the recent discoveries of the links between genetics and brain function as delineated by gender.

And I quote:

Several profound consequences follow from the fact that men have only one copy of the many X-related brain genes and women two...Men, as a group, will have more variable brain phenotypes,” Dr. Arnold writes, because women’s second copy of every gene dampens the effects of mutations that arise in the other. Greater male variance means that although average IQ is identical in men and women, there are fewer average men and more at both extremes.”

If I'm interpreting this correctly (and for the sake of ease, we'll just agree that I am), this brings up quite an interesting scientific phenomenon. And here is an experiment/exercise I have invented expressly to move this from theory into practice:

Step 1: Find a mirror (a hand mirror or a wall mirror, either will suffice for our purposes).

Step 2: Analyze your appearance and determine from that (as well as several other factors) whether you are male or female. If you find that you are a female, your part of the experiment is over. If you find that you are indeed male, move on to the next step.

Step 3: Assess whether or not you possess the ability to solve problems of an average to complex nature, succeed in academic pursuits, and just generally act in a competent manner.

If you answered yes to at least two of the aforementioned three conditions, Congratulations! You fall into the "smart" extreme of the male IQ spectrum and you will live a wonderful life filled with moments of genius and inspiration. If not, better luck next time. Which I guess would only work if you're Hindu. Sorry.

I realize that my male IQ "extremes" experiment is taking the article's claim to, well, an extreme. And though we made the tacit agreement earlier that I was interpreting this with 100% accuracy, I know there are those who may be, let's say, miffed at my suggestion that males can only be either really smart or really...not.

So, to preempt the angry non-fan mail and cover my theoretical experimenting tuchis:
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Contents may shift during flight. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking of seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Edited for television. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No purchase necessary. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Pre-recorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. Driver does not carry cash. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices.

There, that should do it. Makes me rubber. Guess who's glue? Go on, guess. Here, I'll give you a hint. Step 1: Find a mirror...

posted by Rachel @ 2:17 PM

The Gang's All Here

If you've read my postings, you'll be at least vaguely familiar with a weekly event called, "Quiz Night." Wednesdays at Bar Blu 蓝吧 in Sanlitun 三里屯 are somewhat of a staple with us since some of my crew have five-a-side football (NOT American football! That would be soccer, for you Yanks out there!) on Tuesdays - the evening of the other Beijing "Quiz Night" at Tim's Texas BBQ. Essentially, it's five rounds of ten questions with bonus questions and prizes. And, unlike before when I was using "Quiz Night" to meet new people in this city, I now come with crew in tow. So far, we've managed to not come in last, and that seems to be good enough for the time being. This past Wednesday, the theme was "the 70's"; and oh, how I wish my parents were there. Our team had not a person born before 1980 in attendance. Unfair, if I do say so myself. I'm pretty sure the group in the next booth over had two certified hippies and a 70's rock groupie who looked like he was still styled to tour with Zeppelin.

Despite our age handicap, we managed to recognize pictures of Patty Hearst and the Symbionese Liberation Army, pinpoint the year 1975 as the official end of the Vietnam war, and guess that it was no other than Edwinn Star belting out "War! Hugh!" Seriously - who doesn't love that song? And I find it fascinating that the music trivia category (which consists completely of audio clues) always turns into a bad karaoke contest.

We took fourth place - in the middle of the pack, but not too shabby, all things considered. We got free drinks care of the happy hour machine (when you buy a drink, they give you a small remote - you hit a button which stops a wheel, telling you what prize you receive), won a bonus prize of 100元 for answering that the capital of modern Ethiopia is Addis Ababa, and had a pretty damn good time in the process. After the gaming was over, the four of us who were still up for merrymaking took our bonus prize winnings and bought ourselves kebabs and a final round of drinks at Butterfly Bar around the corner (100 元 won't buy much elsewhere), before calling it a night.

The "Quiz Night" crew. Clockwise starting from the Chinese girl in the white jacket on the left side of the photo: Jojo, Zach, Danny, Dave, Candy, yours truly, Paul, and the girl in grey on the right is Emily. You can click on the photo and it should enlarge, though I can't be sure about that (I'm still firewalled - ever the controversial blogger I am!).

I've had a few questions about documentation of the rest of my experiences, particularly my time in Laiwu. They're still here! But this last post reaches the limit of what Blogger will allow me to display on one page. For earlier posts, check out the Archives section on the sidebar. Happy reading!

posted by Rachel @ 10:14 AM

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THE WILD WILD EAST: Everything you never knew you didn't know about life on the other side.

In China, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The Chinese, who call this land "home," and the expats who migrate here. My name is Rachel. I am an expat. These are my stories.

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